All my papers are filled out, and my medical certificate is complete. Tomorrow I will walk over and file my application. Now that it is a certainty I really have mixed feelings. On one hand I know I will never find paying employment, for an unmarried mother is as good as a leper in Scotland. Leaving the country and starting a new life is the only escape for me, if I don’t want to become a penniless outcast, dependent on the charity of others. That is no way to spend a life! On the other hand I know that if I can eventually become self-sufficient and make a good living for my daughter and myself this plan of indentureship is the only way out. She will be well taken care of and I can work at making a good life for us in a new country. No, there is no other hand – this is the only option! My heart will be sad to leave her, and I know I will cry a lot of tears before we are reunited, but I must believe that happiness lies down the road for both of us.
oh Jean... my heart sheds so many tears for the decisions you had to make on your own....
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